ParkHowell.com

Photo courtesy of the Seattle Times

OMG, did you watch 60 Minutes on Sunday and it’s story on BP’s oil disaster in the gulf? Once again it appears profits trumped safety, which led to the disaster.

They had a rather credible witness in a participant who barely survived the whole ordeal. Mike Williams told his story about how BP’s execs overrode all other consultants to push production faster and throw caution to the wind.

I got to thinking what a P.R. spin doctor at BP must be going through right now. Then I scared myself, because the song, “If I Only Had a Brain” from the Wizard of Oz, got stuck in my head.

So to the tune of the scarecrow’s anthem, sing these words as if you are a BP P.R. flack.

“If I Only Had a Drain“

I could while away the hours, polluting all the flowers

Creating acid rain

But my gushers got me thinking

I must be killing lots of plankton

If I only had a drain

I’m unraveling our oily riddle, for very individual

By pointing away the blame

So the gulf’s a little slick

I can clean it with all our shtick

If I only had a drain

Oh, I could tell you why, we need to drill near the shore

What’s a little crude coating the ocean floor

When your Hummer needs petroleum more?

I’m certain dolphins will return, like tourists for their burns

Gooey ducks really aren’t such a pain

60 Minutes was too delirious, we believe it’s not that serious

If I only had a drain

Now, add your own verse in the comments below and let it sing!

5 Comments

1. Pat says:

   May 18, 2010 at 10:08 am

   This story starts out like the individuals at BP who made poor decisions are in your crosshairs, but it ends up reading like just another Big Oil rant.
2. Park says:

   May 18, 2010 at 10:42 am

   You mean it “sings” like a big oil rant. Actually, it’s a rant about big idiots, oil just happens to be the slick setting.
3. Pat says:

   May 18, 2010 at 11:26 am

   I un-muted my speakers and I still had to read it … damn computer.

   Glad to hear it wasn’t meant to be ‘just another Big Oil rant’ – that’s so yesterday.
4. Brad Goodman says:

   May 26, 2010 at 2:28 pm

   Loved the little diddy. Awesome!
5. Making Your Green Marketing Count In an Ocean of Competition | ParkHowell.com says:

   July 15, 2010 at 4:06 pm

   [...] Now as an aside, when it comes to surfing and music, I’m no Jack Johnson. But I did write a little ditty about the BP spill called, “If I Only Had a Drain.” [...]